Releasing: What It Is and What It Isn't

When it comes to our emotions, we normally do one of two things - suppress them or express them. Sometimes we try to transcend them, but that's really just a dressed-up way of suppressing them.

Beyond suppression or even expression is a third way - releasing.

People often think they've released their feelings about something and they'll say, "Oh, I let that go." But often what they're describing is a function of the intellect or the will - a mental decision to dismiss a thought or a feeling, push it away, or somehow distance themselves from it.

This kind of "from-the-neck-up" releasing often doesn't last. It will tend to reveal itself later as a physical symptom or a general feeling of stress or tension. It is unsuccessful because feelings, and the deeper feelings that are driving them, live below conscious awareness. So unless you connect with them where they live, you're just sort of scratching at the surface.

The kind of releasing that I'm referring to - real releasing - is not merely a function of the thinking brain. Instead, it employs the thinking brain to access the bodymind. The bodymind is the unconscious mind and is home to the feelings just beneath the surface - the ones we're often trying to avoid - either consciously or not.

Accessing the bodymind provides us with a felt experience of our emotions, allowing us to connect with them on their own turf. Then we can learn how to speak with them in a language that they understand and invites them to release.

Letting go in this way is a physical, palpable experience, which is sometimes subtle, sometimes not. It's sort of like taking a deep involuntary sigh inside. Afterwards, you'll feel lighter and more spacious inside.

This happens organically, without effort or willpower, You feel lighter and freer, not by trying to impose your will onto your feelings, but by releasing them from the inside-out.

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