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Notes From the Field

One Woman's Healing Journey

4/14/2012

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A good friend has written a summary of our work together. I'd suggested that she journal about her progress, so she'd always have a reminder of how far she has come. I was unprepared for the beauty and simplicity of her words. When I received this email, I was so deeply moved that I asked her if I could share it with you. She said she'd be honored and "if we can help others to take that first step, I would love it." And so, here it is.

When I came to you, I had overwhelming feelings of gloom and doom with . . . . as far as I could see. No reason. I had a home, a job, and was self-supportive. And to me that should be enough to make you a happy person. However I felt very empty and sad. In our work together, I saw that my feelings were coming from years of stories that I felt unable to change or control. So I stuffed all of this until finally at 58 years old I couldn't breathe. I really couldn't breathe. I felt as though it was too much effort to breathe. I remember my first walk into your pasture, taking a deep breath, and at that point I attached myself to that place thinking I had to get out of my world to relax and breathe. Then simply taking deep breaths seemed to be a tremendous help. From that point, doing body scans and talking to my scared little girl and recognizing her I started to feel better, much better.

All the stories I had stuffed because they meant that I was stupid or undeserving, all my trying not to be like the alcoholic that had raised me. All those stories I faced for what they really were came up and I was able to face them and let them go. I gave my little girl attention and listened to her fears and almost immediately she was one with me.  Since then I talk to myself a lot and know that my feelings are just energy that I have to allow to pass through my body. But they must be listened to and not stuffed.

I am sure the future will bring up more stories. My hope is that I can remind myself to acknowledge them and process them in a healthy way. I tell myself, "I love you" every day. I will always need to I think because for so many years and so many circumstances I have felt undeserving of love.

So today, I love myself and feel worthy of that love and I feel calm and I feel like I am smiling inside. I have things to work on but I am confident that now I am in a stable place with myself to conquer what comes. I must close in saying it amazes me that I had no idea where to start or what to do. Turns out the answers were IN ME all the time. Thanks Shell.


​
Thank you friend, from all of us.

Shelly

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​Location:
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​Heaven On Earth Farm

  • Five minutes from downtown Pickens, SC
  • Thirty minutes from downtown Greenville, SC
  • Thirty - Forty minutes from Clemson/Seneca, SC

​Specific directions provided upon scheduling or registration.
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​864/933-8000
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P.O. Box 1233 
Pickens, SC 29671

​Upstate, SC
  • Home
  • ABOUT
    • ABOUT
    • The Body Doesn't Lie
    • The Compassion Process®
    • Who You Really Are
    • Testimonials
    • About Shelly
    • Location
    • Poetry >
      • How She Heals
      • CREEK THERAPY
      • the gift of adrenal fatigue
    • Video Library
  • Services
    • Overview of Services
    • Nature-Based Counseling and Coaching
    • Body-Informed Counseling/Life Coaching
    • Emotions Coaching
    • Equine Assisted Personal Growth
    • Somatic-Based Expressive Arts
    • Dance/Movement
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Phone Coaching
    • Trauma-Informed Therapy
    • for veterans
    • Continuing Education
    • Immersions
  • Blog
  • For Women
    • For Women
    • Female Embodied Movement™
    • Everyday Embodiment
    • Sex and Pleasure
  • Events
    • Events
    • Special Offers
    • Past Events
  • Policies/Fees
    • Policies/Fees
    • Forms
  • Contact
    • Workshop Registration