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Notes From the Field

My Birthday Vision

4/2/2013

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This morning I had a vision.

I had been released from prison. I was finally free. I was finally free of the prison of my own making. I was out into a blank openness of field and land as far as I could see. It was kind of gray and unformed, but at the same time light. The structure behind me, the one I had left, was solid and clear, with clear borders, clear boundaries. I felt a slight pull of wanting to turn back. Prison seemed safe now, familiar. It hadn't been that bad really. I liked the rules. I liked knowing where I stood, what was expected of me. There was order and within it, a safety.

But this? This opennness, this freedom, this limitlessness, was unknown, unfamiliar. I was in unfamiliar territory . . . alone. I looked around and caught a glimpse of another structure behind me and felt a pull. This one had no barbed wire, no fence. It was a pleasant option, but it was a structure just the same.

And I caught myself in the game and saw the illusion for what it was. For there is no safety in that structure, only limitation.

So I sat with myself in the vastness of the unknown, without form, without structure, feeling lost, wanting to grab at something, anything familiar. But instead I waited. Watched and waited. And waited some more. And in my discomfort, I felt the truth . . .

I'd said I hated prison, but I'd feared freedom even more.

Happy Birthday to me.



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​Location:
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​Heaven On Earth Farm

  • Five minutes from downtown Pickens, SC
  • Thirty minutes from downtown Greenville, SC
  • Thirty - Forty minutes from Clemson/Seneca, SC

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​Upstate, SC
  • Home
  • ABOUT
    • ABOUT
    • The Body Doesn't Lie
    • The Compassion Process®
    • Who You Really Are
    • Testimonials
    • About Shelly
    • Location
    • Poetry >
      • How She Heals
      • CREEK THERAPY
      • the gift of adrenal fatigue
    • Video Library
  • Services
    • Overview of Services
    • Nature-Based Counseling and Coaching
    • Body-Informed Counseling/Life Coaching
    • Emotions Coaching
    • Equine Assisted Personal Growth
    • Somatic-Based Expressive Arts
    • Dance/Movement
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Phone Coaching
    • Trauma-Informed Therapy
    • for veterans
    • Continuing Education
    • Immersions
  • Blog
  • For Women
    • For Women
    • Female Embodied Movement™
    • Everyday Embodiment
    • Sex and Pleasure
  • Events
    • Events
    • Special Offers
    • Past Events
  • Policies/Fees
    • Policies/Fees
    • Forms
  • Contact
    • Workshop Registration