We buried my niece last Monday. And yes, there was grief - heart wrenching grief – and hugs, food and flowers, and an outpouring of love for my sister and our family. But what struck me the most, looking out from the back seat of our chauffeur-driven car, was how normal everything looked – but how different it all felt. We seemed to be suspended in some sort of bright, other worldly cocoon of something that I can only describe as peace or grace. I don’t know whether it was the spirit of my niece, the energy of prayers coming from all different directions, or special comforting angels, specially assigned to funeral processions. In any case, it was real and palpable and like nothing I’ve ever felt before. And I understand now what is meant when they say, “There is no birth without death.” Amidst the tombstones and still bare trees, tiny spring wildflowers were blooming, fruit trees were budding, and my family and I let go of past hurts. Petty misunderstandings and grudges all fell away as we sat before my niece’s flower-laden casket. We didn’t have to talk about it. We didn’t have to try. It just happened. For many people, Easter represents death and rebirth. For others, the arrival of spring does the same thing. In either case, surrender is key. Whether it requires an illness, death, or financial crisis, there comes a time when you know you’ve done all that you can – a time when all the clenching and posturing, efforting and pretending, becomes so exhausting that you finally let go. And when that happens, the peace and grace, love and compassion, that’s always been present, is born again . . . in you. Rhyne Smith Andrews Callens September 23, 1988 - March 14, 2019
"The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It's when it begins." Marianne Williamson
22 Comments
Suzie
3/24/2019 08:20:20 am
Thank you once again for your vulnerability in sharing your heart, Shellie. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Many blessings.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:26:27 pm
Thank you Suzie!
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Alison Frazier
3/24/2019 06:03:46 pm
I am so very sorry Shelly. My heart reaches out to you. Love and peace to you and your family.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 09:41:22 pm
Thank you Alison.
Di
3/24/2019 08:35:57 am
Shelley,
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:27:36 pm
A gift indeed. And one that's always free and always available. It is good.
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Mariola
3/24/2019 09:18:25 am
Your sorrow is captured and expressed so eloquently. The tender words indicate a deep understanding how life, as we know it here, is cyclic and unbearable pain held in started hearts needs a miracle to contain it just be able to breathe.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:28:54 pm
Thank you Mariola for your heartfelt expression and for your depth of understanding.
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Beth
3/24/2019 09:20:50 am
What a lovely and moving tribute to your beautiful niece. Thank you for sharing these thoughts, Shelly.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:29:34 pm
Thank you Beth for being there to read them! And thank you again, for your love and support.
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Jennie
3/24/2019 09:26:32 am
What a beautiful tribute to your niece, Shelly. Thank you for sharing your tender experience.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:30:16 pm
Thank you Jennie! And you are quite welcome.
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Sara
3/24/2019 10:14:54 am
Shelly, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your beautiful niece. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Your writing of the experience is beautiful and helpful. Thank you.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 12:32:06 pm
Thank you Sara for your thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad you have found it helpful. It's my main motivation for sharing.
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Shelly Smith
3/24/2019 09:42:07 pm
Thank you Mary. Hope you and yours are doing well.
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Sandra Wyatt
3/25/2019 08:41:31 am
Hi Shelly, I am so saddened to hear about the loss of your niece. She must have been a lovely person. I love what you wrote about grief, loss, surrender, and peace, and I hope that you are able to find that peace in that stillness of surrender. Take care.
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Shelly Smith
3/25/2019 10:50:31 am
Hey Sandra. I hope you are able to find something of value in it for yourself. It's the reason I write - to provide encouragement and support for others.Thank you for your kind thoughts and condolences.
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Sonja
3/25/2019 09:38:24 pm
Oh Shelly, so sorry for your pain and loss. Your thoughts on letting go, and allowing new birth, touched me. Sending love, Sonja
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Shelly Smith
3/26/2019 09:22:04 am
Thank you Sonja for your thoughts and condolences. So glad the piece touched you.
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Michelle W.
3/30/2019 05:42:20 pm
Hi Shelly, you and your family have my deepest sympathy. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, during what I know to be, a difficult time. So beautifully written "that once we surrender, the peace, grace, love and compassion will be reborn". May you find peace and comfort in your precious memories of your beautiful niece.
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Judi P Myers
4/1/2019 09:08:06 pm
So sad to hear of your loss, but your sharing was touching. Prayers go with you & your family.
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