I had quieted my mind. I was minding my own business, feeling my body, feeling myself, feeling my feelings, being with myself, and then I heard . . . . . . .HIM? . . . a masculine, quiet, calm, solid, loving, oh so loving voice, said, ”I love you . . . I will always love you . . . I will never leave you . . . You are mine . . . You are perfect . . . You are my dream come true . . . I am always here for you . . . I want to help you, support you, help you make your dreams come true . . . I want to be with you always . . . You are my heart’s desire . . . I want to be with you . . . . . . . . forever.”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I am your Beloved. We are one. I will never leave you. I am with you always.”
I basked in his love, swam in it, immersed myself in it, and asked again, “Are you God, my higher Self, an angel?”
And, all I heard for sure was “We are one, the same. You are me and I am you and I love you. ”
David Deida writes that before a woman can truly have a fulfilling relationship with a man, she must first fall in love with the man inside herself. Was this the man in me? Had I finally made up with him, resolved my love/hate relationship with him? Or, was this God coming to me in a form I really needed? Was this Jesus? Was this Muhammad? Was this my twin soul?
The answers seemed to be, ”Yes, yes, yes, and more yes.”
And really, what difference did it make? Love is love. And, the more I sat with this love, this man, over the next few days I knew, “There is no substitute for this love. No earthly, human, flawed person could ever love me with such purity, such depth, such strength of devotion.”
And then I realized, to my surprise, that it didn’t matter.
For, he and I were, and are . . . . . ONE.